Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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