Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
