He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
