We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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