It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just invented taco cereal.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
