Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
