Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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