Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
