Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
