Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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