put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i barfeds in our rink
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
