Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
