kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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