we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
