and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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