ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
We got so high we made milksteak
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
