in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
