How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
