You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
