That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
