It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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