Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
