Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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