I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
