your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
