I puked a lego.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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