Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
