Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
