I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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