Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
