The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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