I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
