he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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