Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
