Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
