I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
