I don't think brook has ever known best
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
