just tell him i said nine months
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
