Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
