Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
