It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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