I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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