no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
