worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
