He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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