Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
