Don't make out with my wife yet
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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