it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
