my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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