And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
high people should be assigned attendants
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
